Q . How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without =racking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC topper)
Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a =all,how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all It is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)
Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and =hree oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
Q. How =an you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one
hand. (UPSC Rank 14 opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A.. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank =8)
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper)
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Dinner.
Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : It caused a revolution.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Strength and Courage
It takes strength to be firm. It takes courage to be gentle.
It takes strength to stand guard. It takes courage to let down your guard.
It takes strength to conquer. It takes courage to surrender.
It takes strength to be certain. It takes courage to have a doubt.
It takes strength to fit in. It takes courage to stand out.
It takes strength to feel a friend's pain. It takes courage to feel your own pain..
It takes strength to hide feelings. It takes courage to show them.
It takes strength to endure abuse. It takes courage to stop it.
It takes strength to stand alone. It takes courage to lean on another.
It takes strength to love. It takes courage to be loved.
It takes strength to survive. It takes courage to live
It takes strength to stand guard. It takes courage to let down your guard.
It takes strength to conquer. It takes courage to surrender.
It takes strength to be certain. It takes courage to have a doubt.
It takes strength to fit in. It takes courage to stand out.
It takes strength to feel a friend's pain. It takes courage to feel your own pain..
It takes strength to hide feelings. It takes courage to show them.
It takes strength to endure abuse. It takes courage to stop it.
It takes strength to stand alone. It takes courage to lean on another.
It takes strength to love. It takes courage to be loved.
It takes strength to survive. It takes courage to live
Why Planning is important?
One Night 4 college students were playing till late night and could not
study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty
with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had
gone out to a
wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and
they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no
condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked
him and said they would be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this
was a Special Condition Test,
All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They
all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.
Q.1. Your Name........ ......... ........ (2 MARKS)
Q.2. which tire burst? (98 MARKS)
a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c)Back Left
d) Back Right.....!! !
True story from IIT Bombay...Batch 1992
study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty
with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had
gone out to a
wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and
they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no
condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked
him and said they would be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this
was a Special Condition Test,
All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They
all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.
Q.1. Your Name........ ......... ........ (2 MARKS)
Q.2. which tire burst? (98 MARKS)
a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c)Back Left
d) Back Right.....!! !
True story from IIT Bombay...Batch 1992
Sardar ke Jalwe..
Teacher: Translate - Bazaar mein goliyan chal rahi hain.
Santa: The Tablets are walking in the market.
*****
Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop
it..
*****
Santa sent SMS to his BOSS: Me sick, no work.
Boss SMS back: When I am sick I kiss my wife, try it.
Two hours later Santa sms 2 boss: Me ok, ur wife very sweet.
*****
Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mein hole kyu?
Sardar bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.
*****
Santa: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs & marriage age 21yrs?
Banta: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko
nahi.
****
Santa bada dukhi tha, kisi ne pucha itni tension me kyon ho?
Santa: Ek dost ko 3 lac plastic surgery k liye diye the, ab use pehchan
nahin pa raha
*****
Why did Santa sleep with a scale?
Because he wanted to measure how long he has slept.
*****
Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya , gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.
Banta:-Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo.
*****
Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai.
Banta: Are tension mat le, Jeher bharwane aya =oga...
*****
Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.
Santa: Phir tune kya kiya?
Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao.
Santa: Phir?
Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta
Santa: The Tablets are walking in the market.
*****
Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop
it..
*****
Santa sent SMS to his BOSS: Me sick, no work.
Boss SMS back: When I am sick I kiss my wife, try it.
Two hours later Santa sms 2 boss: Me ok, ur wife very sweet.
*****
Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mein hole kyu?
Sardar bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.
*****
Santa: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs & marriage age 21yrs?
Banta: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko
nahi.
****
Santa bada dukhi tha, kisi ne pucha itni tension me kyon ho?
Santa: Ek dost ko 3 lac plastic surgery k liye diye the, ab use pehchan
nahin pa raha
*****
Why did Santa sleep with a scale?
Because he wanted to measure how long he has slept.
*****
Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya , gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.
Banta:-Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo.
*****
Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai.
Banta: Are tension mat le, Jeher bharwane aya =oga...
*****
Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.
Santa: Phir tune kya kiya?
Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao.
Santa: Phir?
Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta
Misunderstanding. ...CAUSED BY LADIES...for themselves..
6 crawl into a hole Situations!
Ever spoken and wished that you could take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are a few people who do....
1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in town and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blowjob? (She meant blowing her hair for Styling)
I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.
2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. ! As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank! with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door clos ed behind me were screams of laughter.
5. A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag.
Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS. " In a business-like tone,a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"
6. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story...
We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Ever spoken and wished that you could take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are a few people who do....
1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in town and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blowjob? (She meant blowing her hair for Styling)
I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.
2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. ! As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank! with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door clos ed behind me were screams of laughter.
5. A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag.
Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS. " In a business-like tone,a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"
6. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story...
We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Women can't select husbands
A store that sells husbands has just opened in a city, where a woman goes to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. .... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
" Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,013 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
" Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,013 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit
Whole thing..
Shooloo and Deepoo had been married for some time and were having spousal disharmony, confrontation, disputes, problems.
So they decided to see a professional marriage counselor.
After some warming out routine questions the counselor asked the unhappy couple, "Well, what do you think seems to be the problem with your marriage?"
Simultaneously in harmonious voice Shooloo and Deepoo yelled, "I am unhappy with the Whole Thing."
"Can you both be please more specific?" asked the confounded counselor.
Confused Deepoo loss at words meekly answered, "I am unhappy with the Hole."
Shooloo snapped back, "Well, if that is what you have to say to the outsiders then I am unhappy with the thing!"
So they decided to see a professional marriage counselor.
After some warming out routine questions the counselor asked the unhappy couple, "Well, what do you think seems to be the problem with your marriage?"
Simultaneously in harmonious voice Shooloo and Deepoo yelled, "I am unhappy with the Whole Thing."
"Can you both be please more specific?" asked the confounded counselor.
Confused Deepoo loss at words meekly answered, "I am unhappy with the Hole."
Shooloo snapped back, "Well, if that is what you have to say to the outsiders then I am unhappy with the thing!"
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